4 Things You Can Do to Make the Holidays Easier for Foster and ...

How often do we hear the phrase ??Tis the season to be jolly? during the holiday season? Many of us don?t think twice as we give and receive such greetings, but for a foster or adopted child those sentiments ? and the holiday season in general ? can be very difficult.

Abuse and Neglect Issues
Within the typical dysfunctional home environment that many of our children come from, abuse or neglect doesn?t slow down during the holidays. In fact, abuse or neglect would be exacerbated this time of year in many cases due to increased financial and family stressors.

Separation Issues
Beyond the fact that abuse likely took no holiday in a foster or adoptive child?s life, this child also has to deal with confusing and painful separation issues. Many foster and adoptive children have connections to parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents that do not simply disappear once they have entered foster care or their new adoptive home.

Many children coming from abusive or neglectful situations will not be able to verbalize or connect their feelings to the separation they have experienced. Older children may be able to make the connection, but might feel inhibited from telling their new caregivers for a variety of reasons (e.g. they don?t want to hurt the new caregiver?s feelings).

What Can You Do to Help?

1. Listen. Do what you do that led you to foster care and adoption ? be there and be empathetic. You can tell your foster child or adoptive child that you understand that they may be missing some of their family or may have some difficult memories from around the holiday times. Tell them that you are there to listen and help.?
2. Look. Be aware of the non-verbal and verbal responses that you receive during holiday festivities. Foster children and adoptive children from chaotic home environments may need ?rests? from holiday events at times and shelter from some of the stimulation.?
3. Include. Try to incorporate family and cultural traditions from the child?s family that are appropriate and comforting to the child or adolescent. If possible, try to include appropriate family members in planned holiday festivities, and be open to talk with your child afterwards.
4. Treat. Many of our children attend therapy or counseling. Relate any issues you observe to the child?s therapist if you note clear signs of depression of anxiety.

Holidays can be a fun and festive time for children as they learn about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. With caring and empathy, our foster and adoptive parents are sharing their homes and lives in His service. Buckner thanks you for all you do.

Please click here to read a more detailed article entitled Celebrating Holidays with Children You Foster.

Jeff Ross is the clinical director for Buckner Children and Family Services in Southeast Texas, where he has worked with children in the foster care system for over fifteen years.

Source: http://stories.beafamily.org/index.php/2012/11/4-things-make-the-holidays-easier/

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