Daily Kos: My Dad is Dying

One evening in early November, I stood in the gym at my daughter?s school. My wife and I were there for our first parent/teacher conference for Kennedy, our five-year old. It was our turn to go in and speak with the teacher when my cell phone rang. I looked at the number, waved my wife into the room, and then answered the call. You see, Dad had another surgery that day, but this one was different. This one was at the Mayo Clinic with the intention of helping fix his vocal chords, to give a man his voice back.

My stepmother was on the other end, upset and crying. She explained that when the doctors had started cutting, they found things that should not be there. What they had thought was scar tissue in pre-op was actually the surface of a deep-reaching cancer. Think of a dandelion. They had seen the flower and now were discovering the root.

I remember standing in that gym feeling small, powerless, and utterly useless as I struggled with what to say to my stepmom. How do you comfort someone who is thousands of miles away?

The answer? You don?t. Nothing you can say will soften the pain.

Nevertheless, I tried. ?Hey, we?ll figure this out.? ?Let?s see what the other doctors say tomorrow.? Eventually, after a few rounds of clumsy platitudes, I told her to pass my love to dad, hung up, and then stared at a basketball hoop while trying not to cry.

?A day had started so hopeful had ended with a dozen kicks to the gut.

I was still standing there when my wife emerged from my daughter?s room, a smile on her face and ready to share an amusing story about something Kennedy had done in school. I had a different story to tell her.

Days passed.

The prognosis was bad. Very bad. Recommended treatment was to remove the larynx and do radiation and chemo. And even if he did all that, they could only give him a 50% chance of survival. Dad visited a survivors? group, saw the quality of life those people ?enjoyed,? and then chose not to seek treatment himself. That was not how he wanted to spend his last days.

I supported his decision, as did my stepmom. Would we prefer to have him fight, just to have him around a little longer? Of course, but that is selfishness speaking. His life, his choice.

He made plans to come visit us in mid-December, to spend some time with the grandkids, but the flu-bug hit my household and he was forced to cancel. So, Dad and my stepmom instead planned to come for Christmas, to fly into Columbus on Christmas Eve and stay for a couple of weeks. One last, bittersweet holiday where my kids got to spend time with their Grandpa.

The week before, I got a call from my stepmom. Dad was not doing good. The breathing was getting worse as the tumor was growing, closing his airway. Could I fly to Phoenix the next day?

After a hellish day of travel full of delays, I made it out there. I did what I could to help ease Dad?s mind and anxiety: I went to meetings with his lawyers, took him to church for last rites, reviewed their finances incase my stepmom needed help with things later on. In order to counteract the morbid surrealism of it all, we also did normal things: we went to the hardware store to buy salt for the water softener, headed to Fry?s for groceries, watched football or a movie.

It turned out that he was better off than we had thought. Anxiety was severely exacerbating things, making it hard for him to breathe. So, we all got on a plane Christmas Eve and made it home to Columbus.

Christmas was good. And it was hard. Watching Kennedy smile as she climbed over her grandpa was as awesome as it was heart-wrenching. She still has no idea what is happening. Neither does my son, Nikalys. What the hell do you say to a 5 and 8 year old about this?

New Years came and went. We got hospice setup for Dad at my house?oxygen, anti-anxiety medication, steroids to help with the inflammation. In the weeks that followed, my stepmom cleaned and organized our entire house (it?s how she copes) while my wife and I went about our lives and jobs as best we could.

Dad?s been staying with us for almost six weeks. His breathing is labored now. Stairs leave him sucking air. ?But he?s hanging on. We?ve had the opportunity to make what I hope are lasting memories for my kids. Dad, me, and Nikalys went to a movie just the three of us; three generations of Kaelins. Last Sunday, he took Kennedy to mass with him and came back smiling. I sit with him as much as I can, watching movies, basketball, TV shows on Netflix. We just wrapped up BBC?s Sherlock Holmes last night.

We?re not sure how much time he really has. When we brought him to Columbus, we had all thought weeks. Turns out, it might be months. That being the case, last week, Dad made another tough decision.

He does not want to spend the last few months of his life sitting in an empty house five days a week while my wife and I are working and the kids are in school. Columbus winters are too gray, too cold, and too lonely for that. He?s going to fly back to Arizona and enjoy the nice weather.

I, again, support him. His life, his choice.

He leaves Saturday.

Throughout my life, Dad has been the rock of the family, the unwavering force upon which everyone can count. He?s been there for me, my stepbrother and stepsister, my stepmom, my wife and kids, his friends?again, pretty much everyone. The man is incapable of putting himself before anyone. He?s the one with cancer and he?s mostly concerned with how it?s affecting all of us.

My Dad is the least selfish, most-giving, best person I know.

And when he?s gone, my world and the world of everyone he has known will be diminished.

Source: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/01/23/1181388/-My-Dad-is-Dying

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Stepparenting & Blended Families 2013: 7 Steps to Bonding with ...

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Practical, realistic, and upbeat advice--from sharing a bathroom to initiating conversations--for people who "inherit" children along with a new spouse. The success or failure of a stepparent to bond with stepchildren can make or break a new marriage. But this book has a refreshing message--it is possible to achieve longlasting, rewarding relationships with your new children.

Most stepparents feel caught in a bind because in order to connect with their stepchild, they have to reach out--but not too much, too little, or too deliberately. And relationships with stepchildren are inherently different from those with biological children who love their parent unconditionally. But these 7 basic steps will give you the essentials, from deciding what kind of stepparent you want to be to realizing that love comes later.

• Rank: #212502 in Books
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• Parenting and Relationships
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Source: http://hotstepparentingblendedfamilies583.blogspot.com/2013/01/7-steps-to-bonding-with-your-stepchild.html

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Online Marketplace Offers an Alternative to Student Loans - Bottom ...

With rising student-debt burdens and bleaker job prospects making headlines in recent years, young people are thinking twice about how to pay for a college?education or launch their dream career. Enter Pave, an online platform that allows students and young professionals to market themselves to potential investors in hopes of gaining financial support, networking opportunities, and mentorship.

People who turn to the start-up company for money to go to college or start a career project??prospects,? as Pave refers to them?create a profile on its Web site to pitch their stories to potential backers. In turn, prospects pledge to share a percentage of their income over a fixed amount of time.

Unlike other crowdfunding sites, Pave is not limited to a specific project, and unlike loan services, prospects have no obligation to repay the specific amount of money given to them.

In addition, prospects? payments are always income-based, whereas loan payments usually stay the same, regardless of income. Additionally, if a prospect?s earnings fall below 150 percent of the poverty line, or if the prospect is a full-time student, he or she is not obligated to share earnings during that time.

Under this arrangement, if a prospect does well, the backer also benefits from that success. The reverse is also true: If the prospect does not fare well, the backer loses, too.

?We?re offering people an alternative source of funding, with the upside of tapping into some sort of mentorship, which can be incredibly compelling for both sides,? says Oren Bass, one of Pave?s founders and its chief operating officer.

About a year and a half ago, Mr. Bass and another founder, Sal?Lahoud, who is Pave?s chief executive officer, began discussing person-to-person investment on a commercial scale. Since its launch, in December, Pave has received more than 1,000 inquiries from potential prospects, according to Mr. Bass.

?We saw a lot of wealth and experience in the financial world not being used in society,? Mr. Bass says. ?By tapping into those resources that were almost lying dormant, we sought to connect people in a better way, with both a financial and social aspect.?

Before launching the Pave Web site, Mr. Bass spent a year studying potential hurdles and legal issues, such as developing a legally enforceable agreement between prospects and backers, and verifying prospects? income levels, to avoid dishonest reporting of earnings. Mr. Bass solicited advice not only from lawyers but also from the U.S. Consumer Finance Protection Bureau and the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Mr. Bass says that while Pave is open to anyone, it is a natural fit for college students, who tend to have more ambition in starting their careers but also need to pay for their education.

Rather than seeking prospects in high-earning career paths, such as engineering or banking, Pave backers to date are often looking to connect with someone who has a good story, according to Mr. Bass.

?They like seeing something that displays passion and drive, in any sort of field,? he says.

Carlo Salerno, a former education economist and the company?s head of growth, says Pave also provides an opportunity for people in the private sector to invest in education.

When developing the concept for the company, Mr. Salerno and Pave?s co-founders discussed how money influences the decisions people make in life. Financial obligations often dictate whether a person chooses to pursue an education, a passionate interest, or a job to pay the bills. Pave gives prospects the opportunity to find a career fueled by passion, rather than a career that makes sense economically, Mr. Salerno says.

?This is a way to think about promoting financial access to education ? and finding ways to help people help each other,? Mr. Salerno says.

Ben M. Levine, a 20-year-old junior at Pitzer College, says he plans to use the $3,000 he raised through Pave to help expand a small business he started last spring, KooChooFlee, which sells the Chilean treat cuchufl?.

As a child, Mr. Levine frequently traveled to the Chilean part of Patagonia, where his mother grew up, and was inspired to bring his favorite childhood snack to the United States. Mr. Levine gives half of his profits to charities working to preserve Patagonia, and will also be sharing 0.4 percent of his income with his two backers over the next 10 years.

Mr. Levine says he plans to pursue a career in the financial world following his graduation. He was primarily drawn to Pave, he says, because of the possibility of building relationships with his backers.

?The backing is where the true value actually lies,? Mr. Levine says. ?There are smart, motivated people willing to help me with something. They may be people who haven?t been in the kitchen in some time, but they definitely know what it takes to start a successful business.?

For Clara I. Aranovich, a 27-year-old graduate of the University of Southern California, money from Pave will help her to pursue a filmmaking career.

Fifteen backers helped Ms. Aranovich raise $50,000, which she will use to incorporate a film-production company, upgrade her editing software, and hire someone to create a detailed budget for her first feature-length film. She has committed to sharing 5 percent of her income with backers over the next 10 years.

?Paying it forward seems to be the only thing that makes sense for me in this industry,? Ms. Aranovich says. ?Why not conduct yourself generously??

Mr. Bass says the next step for Pave is to focus efforts on improving the concept, and spreading the word.

?We are all driven by a passion for this project,? Mr. Bass says. ?We are very much about allowing people to do what they want to do.?

Source: http://chronicle.com/blogs/bottomline/online-marketplace-offers-an-alternative-to-student-loans/

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Toyota retakes No. 1 spot in global automotive sector ...

Toyota Motor Corporation is once again tops in the automotive sector, according to a new report form Industrial Info Resources.

The report found that last year saw a significant recovery for Toyota, IIR says. Sales surged, as they did across the entire automotive sector, and the Japanese automaker regained the top sales spot worldwide.

In 2012, Toyota sold 9.7 million vehicles, which easily topped GM's 9.29 million vehicles. Toyota saw its sales increase 22 per cent for the year.

For details, view the entire article by subscribing to Industrial Info's Premium Industry News.

Source: http://www.automationmag.com/ma-content/industry-news/toyota-retakes-no-1-spot-in-global-automotive-sector.html

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Cunard brings Queen Mary 2 to Abu Dhabi for first time | News ...

The Queen Mary 2 - the luxury flagship of the Cunard Line - will make her maiden call at Abu Dhabi when she visits the Mina Zayed cruise terminal later this month.

The US $880million cruise liner - built in 2004 to replace the illustrious Queen Elizabeth 2 - will spend the day in Mina Zayed before sailing for Cochin in India.

The liner will arrive in Abu Dhabi on January 29th with 2,620 passengers with tourism officials hailing the debut as a significant boost towards the city?s ambitions of receiving 180,000 passengers in the current cruise season and to attain a 39 per cent increase in the 2014/2015 season.

?To attract a cruise liner of this calibre is a tremendous endorsement of Abu Dhabi?s rising status as a global cruise destination and solid sector partner,? said Noura Al Dhaheri, leisure product development manager, Abu Dhabi Tourism & Culture Authority.

?Cunard has a reputation of selecting only the very best destinations for their world cruises, and we believe its confidence in our destination will act as a catalyst for other lines to consider adding Abu Dhabi to their itineraries, further propelling our cruise credentials.?

Queen Mary 2 will call at Abu Dhabi as part of her 2013 World Voyage, a 106 day odyssey from Southampton in the UK, calling via the Mediterranean and the Red Sea then heading out across the Indian Ocean to the Far East & China, Australia, New Zealand and Mauritius to South Africa, before returning to Southampton prior to embarking on the itinerary?s transatlantic leg.

?It has taken over three years of delicate negotiations to secure the inclusion of Abu Dhabi on Queen Mary 2?s World Voyage itinerary,? said George Varghese, from Rais Hassan Saadi Group, Cunard?s port handling agent.

?She is the pinnacle of ocean liner travel, with guests demanding the very best on-board service matched with equally high standards in shoreline excursion opportunities.

?Abu Dhabi has proven itself as equal to that task.?

Source: http://www.breakingtravelnews.com/news/article/cunard-brings-queen-mary-2-to-abu-dhabi-for-first-time/

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Huawei Ascend W1 now available in China for $260, cheaper than Lumia 620 locally

We knew that Huawei's 4-inch Ascend W1 will be hitting the UK at some point this quarter, but the company is once again launching a new device in its home country first. Currently available in black at the official online store, this dual-core, WCDMA 900/2100-flavored W1 is priced at ¥1,599 or about $260, making it the cheapest Windows Phone 8 device you can get in China -- probably something that will help address Huawei's smartphone penetration problem. Better yet, placing an order now will knock ¥100 (about $16) off the order but only while stocks last, so interested buyers better start calling their pals in China soon, especially before they shut down for Chinese New Year early next month!

The title of cheapest WP8 device in China was previously held by Nokia's ¥1,999 (about $320) Lumia 620, though in the US it is available for just $249. Given the bigger screen and battery, the W1 might be a better buy, but we shall reserve our final judgement until we get to play with it properly. Meanwhile, somewhere in Redmond, Steve Ballmer is closely observing with a massive grin.

Comments

Source: Vmall

Source: http://feeds.engadget.com/~r/weblogsinc/engadget/~3/O9ocJE__KLo/

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HTC M7 purportedly spied brandishing Sense 5.0

It's that special time again -- that time when Mobile World Congress looms, and HTC fans wonder what design philosophy they'll live with for the next year. We might have just been given a peek at their future. Android Police claims to have a photo and screenshots for the M7, a prototype HTC smartphone that previously only existed in a slightly sketchy 3D render. The design appears to take a handful of cues from the Droid DNA, although there's touches front and back (such as different front camera and rear flash positions) that suggest it's not a carbon copy. What may matter most is the software: the M7 appears to be running Sense 5.0, which could bring a stripped-back look while adding new widgets for at-a-glance news and tips.

Before we declare this a preview of what we'll see in Barcelona, though, we'd do well to point out some of the more glaring uncertainties beyond just the lack of internal hardware details. The capacitive buttons sit unusually high on the front, for one; and they are in an unusual order -- the home button isn't in the middle. There's also none of the usual regulatory markings on the back -- even if authentic, this may be a prototype that doesn't reflect the final result. Whether it's the real thing or just wishful thinking, we may find out in a little over a month's time.

Update: It is worth pointing out that the time, weather and the length of the black bar over the location name in the widget suggest this device was spied in Taipei, the home of HTC. Unless, of course, this was a carefully calculated hoax.

Filed under: Cellphones, Mobile, HTC

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Source: Android Police

Source: http://www.engadget.com/2013/01/20/htc-m7-purportedly-spied-brandishing-sense-5-0/

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